By Wayne Rivers

Family businesses sometimes have a language all their own. People who are strangers to family companies aren’t capable of recognizing some of the terms, stories, and built-in code phrases which have grown to be parts of the family business culture over the years.

However, there are some phrases common to many family businesses which are counterproductive and even downright noxious when they’re used between senior and younger generations. The items below are some of the negative terms and language which successful family business owners should avoid.

Senior generation comment: This is the way we’ve always done it here.”

What the younger generation hears: “Remember who’s in control of this business, don’t forget it, and don’t try to change the way I do things.”

Senior generation comment: “Some day all this will be yours.”

What the younger generation hears: “I know I’m not really giving you any responsibility, but if you’ll just be patient and wait ten or fifteen more years I’ll throw this company in your lap with no real succession plan and you can sink or swim with it.”

Senior generation comment: “I’ve built this business from the ground up and I’ve done all the dirtiest jobs there are to do. Your training should be the same as mine when I came along.”

What the younger generation hears: “Your education and work experience outside this company are meaningless. We’re going to operate and manage this company exactly as we did when it was a $2 million entrepreneurial company. Your education, experience, and newfangled ideas on how to manage this business are unwanted here.”

Senior generation family business owners rarely mean harm when they make throwaway comments and “do things like they’ve always done them.” However, they must recognize that it takes an entirely different set of skills to manage a $50 million company than it does to create and operate a $2 million organization. Second and third generation family members should be given respect and an open, nonjudgmental forum in which to air their ideas on how the company should be run in the future. They should be allowed to contribute freely and openly to the future vision of the business. Squelching the input of interested, ambitious, and dedicated second and third generation family members (including in-laws) is a prime example of how some family business owners win the battle but lose the war.

Be careful what you say and how you say it around other members of your business family. You may inadvertently be speaking with a forked tongue. ■

Wayne Rivers is the president of The Family Business Institute, Inc. FBI’s mission is to deliver interpersonal, operational and financial solutions to help family and closely-held businesses achieve breakthrough success.
Vol. 5, Issue 5